There are three components that I emphasize in my therapy work with couples: Commitment, Trust, and Communication: an active commitment to nurturing the growth and intimacy of the relationship; trust in your partner’s love and respect for you as an individual; and open, honest and respectful communication of needs, desires, and grievances.
Learning how to cultivate and sustain intimacy in a relationship requires conscious attunement to your own and your significant other’s emotional needs. Here in Manhattan, where sensory and work overload can often make such attunement difficult, making time to be present and engaged with your partner, without distraction, is essential to the health of your relationship.
The mere act of committing yourselves to joint counseling (whether marriage counseling, pre-marital counseling, or just relationship counseling) will, in and of itself, deepen and strengthen your relationship bond. In the sessions themselves, I will assist the two of you in both communicating openly and honestly and in listening patiently and respectfully, so that both you and your partner feel heard and understood.
On the other hand, if you are considering dissolving your marriage or ending a relationship, I can help you first determine whether the marriage can be saved: either through couples counseling or individual therapy aimed at helping you better confront problems in the marriage.
If you or your partner have already decided to end the marriage or relationship, I can help you determine how best to end it, for your own financial and emotional well-being, as well as for your kids, if they are part of the equation.
Whether the initiator or recipient of a separation or divorce, the demise of your marriage will likely challenge you with profound feelings of grief, sadness, anger, and loneliness. Separation and divorce is a jolt to the system, throwing off your emotional equilibrium, confronting you with often dramatically conflicting feelings: rage and sadness, fear and hope, doubt and determination, and ambivalence and guilt.
Initially, your difficulty assimilating such conflicting feelings may trigger intense anxiety and depression. In an effort to numb or escape these unsettling feelings, you are more susceptible to various forms of addiction, be it drug or alcohol addiction, gambling addiction, addiction to sex or porn, addiction to food, or even internet addiction.
I can help you navigate through the turbulent waters of separation/ divorce, by supporting you in confronting and resolving these conflicted feelings, and then in embracing the opportunities that come with letting go and moving on.
Ultimately, done right, terminating an unhealthy marriage or relationship is a profound opportunity for growth, liberation, and self discovery.
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